ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
