It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
