...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
