Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He? As in you personified your dick?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
