at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
