what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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