it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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