she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
