I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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