i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
two words: eviction party
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
