WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
