So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
