Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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