im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
