her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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