Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
