I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
