you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
