Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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