I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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