Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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