i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Randomize
