wat bout pragnant strippers??
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
