he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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