i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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