I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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