This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
