That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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