I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
