You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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