My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
where are you?
Hypothermia
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
