at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
