You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
