She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
