Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
