she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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