I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
