last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
