...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
