why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I have post one night stand depression
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