Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
