No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
