No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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