I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
