If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
