dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
