he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
