I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
