Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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