so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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