I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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